All the Things
by Johanna-002
Summary: For AliceSloane13. Happy Birthday, lady! Red/Nicky Ridiculousness.


**Title:** All the Things

 **Summary:** For AliceSloane13. Happy Birthday, lady! Red/Nicky Ridiculousness.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own OITNB or any of its characters. They belong to Jenji Kohen, I do however, own my writing so please don't steal- Johanna002©

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 _A/N: I'm_ _ **ONE**_ day late, (Oct. 17) but _Happy Birthday, AliceSloane13! I hope you had the most amazing day ever! Maybe one day you and I can drink all the yummy, alcoholic beverages on the beaches of Florida. Haha. Can you believe we've been together over a year? Man… time flies when you're in prison. Love you, lady! Drink all the coffee and do all the things!_

 _XOXO_

 _-Jo & HannaH_

Red sighed heavily as Nicky positioned herself right on her heels. Anyone who had cared to be even the tiniest bit observant, would have thought her to simply be an overworked mother who longed for five minutes of peace… and correct, they would be. Red hadn't had a single moment to herself since she had woken up. From the second she had opened her eyes her girl had been there, stuck to her side like velcro, or in a less flattering analogy—an old piece of chewed gum.

She had tried everything to shoo her away, but it seemed Nicky just couldn't—or wouldn't—take a hint.

"What about I make you a sandwich?" Red had offered earlier that afternoon as she cleaned up the kitchen. "No crust right, and cut into triangles? I'll even make you two sandwiches."

Though she had accepted the sandwiches, Nicky made no move to leave. She hadn't even been interested in the boxes of smuggled in Oatmeal Pies that Red had tried to bribe her with.

"Honey," Red called to her gently, eyes focused intently on the rows of books in front of her. "Are you okay?" she asked, "do you need to talk or something… you've been a little clingy today."

Nicky shook her head, and adjusted the pile of books she cradled in her arms against her hip. Letting Red loose in a library was as bad as letting a toddler free in a candy store. "I'm fine," she reassured. "How much longer are you going to be here anyway?" She adjusted the books in her arms once again, the strain pathetically tiring her under used muscles out.

"Not sure," Red whispered, "why?"

"Because I'm bored," she whined.

Red looked at her over her shoulder. She sounded worse than her sons used to when they were kids. "How could you possibly be bored? I'm sure there is something you could do." She motioned with a wave to the hundreds of books surrounding then, almost giving her an ultimatum. "Find something to read. I used to make my boys read an hour a day when they were growing up. You could stand to learn something."

Nicky scoffed. "What? The life of a plant? No thank you."

"There's fairytale, mystery," Red listed distractedly. "Tons of options, Nicky."

"It's not that I don't like to read," Nicky reassured her, following close on her heels as she moved away from the shelf she had been stalking. "I just don't want to read. I want to do something fun."

"Like what?" Red asked, passing her a book to add to her collection.

"Fishing?"

Red rolled her eyes. "Yea sure," she said sarcastically, "I'll get right on that."

Nicky laughed softly. "Mm, you're probably right. I wouldn't want to bait the hook. Would you do it for me?"

"Your arms aren't broken."

Pouting out her bottom lip, Nicky whined, "Remember when you used to love me? Now all you care about is Gloria."

Red sighed, "I don't like her very much either these days."

"Why?"

"She rearranged my kitchen and messed up the order for inventory."

Nicky chuckled gently. "That's all you got?" she quirked an eyebrow up at her mother's back. "Here I was hoping it was at least something juicy. You're worse than Figueroa, you know that? Busting Gloria's balls as bad as Figs gets on Caputo."

Red waved her away. Taking a step back from the bookshelf she had been scanning, she nearly lost her balance as the heel of her Croc became trapped under the toe of Nicky's work boot. "Oh… Shi—Nicky!" she gasped, her weight continuing to propel her forward. Her hand shot out as quick as lightning, knocking a few books to the floor in the process as she scrambled for something to hold onto.

Nicky helped to steady her, "sorry," she apologized. "You okay?"

"Fine," Red grunted. She could feel the eyes of the other occupants on her and she blistered under their gaze. "I'm fine."

Bending down to pick up the books Red had knocked down, Nicky quickly filed them back away. "You know what book we should get, ma," Nicky said, "Alice in Wonderland."

"That doesn't sound very educational."

"You just said it could be fantasy," Nicky argued. "Why does it have to be educational now? It's not like I suggested a picture book, or a Playboy."

Red narrowed her eyes at her in disgust.

Nicky flashed her a coy smile, "unless that's the only kind of picture book you enjoy."

Red walked away from her without another word. She resisted the urge to smile as she heard Nicky's feet scuff against the carpeted floors, rushing to catch up with her. She rounded the corner quickly, knowing it would be of no use. Nicky was on her trail like a hound dog and had been since the night she had adopted her into the family.

Some days she wondered if it had been worth it—her sanity. Lord knew Nicky could push buttons in the very recess of her being that she hadn't even been aware she possessed. But despite the chaos that followed her, Nicky was her favorite—her baby. Sure, she had her sons, but it wasn't the same. She wasn't sure if it was because Nicky was a girl, or simply just who she was as a person, but if Red were a gambling woman she'd put her money down on the latter.

"After this can we take a nap? "Nicky asked, popping up in front of her mother suddenly.

"You slept all day yesterday," Red argued. She stepped around her quickly, continuing to survey the shelves.

"But I'm still tired," Nicky complained.

"Maybe you should start going to bed at a decent hour."

"Hey," Nicky whined, side eyeing her, "If Lorna was crawling into your bed at night you'd understand."

"If Lorna was crawling into my bed at night I would be disturbed."

"Gloria would probably be disturbed too," Nicky chuckled. She smiled wickedly and seductively whispered, "unless she wouldn't. How does she feel about threesomes?"

"Nicky…"

Nicky laughed gently, "This has been fun."

"Has it?" Red questioned dryly.

"I feel like I was put on this Earth specifically for your pleasure, Red."

"Was that what this exchange was supposed to be, for my pleasure?"

Nicky nudged her gently, batting her eyelashes sweetly. "Don't you have fun with me?" she asked innocently.

Red smiled. "I enjoy spending time with you," she promised.

Grinning, Nicky nodded her head in affirmation. "More than you enjoy spending time with Gloria?"

"More than I enjoy spending time with Gloria."

"Good," Nicky thrust the books into her mother's arms. "See ya!"

"Where the hell are you going?"

"I just needed to hear the words. Love you!" Nicky blew her a kiss and disappeared out of sight.

 **Author's Note:** Love you, A! You're crazy, and chaotic and so deliciously entertaining.


End file.
